My first house came with a 3-car garage. I imagined acquiring SUV + coupe. The default was Ford Explorer and Alpha or MG spyder. My dog 小黑 (Little Blacky) would prefer the 2-seater with top down, of course.
With the start-up, becoming audiophile, family illnesses, movies, bubble burst, unemployment, cycling, books, billiards, seeking mate, inline speed skating and yoga, it's easier to rely on the midsize sedan that everyone else drove. The 2-vehicle plan ranked low on the to-do list. I never got the dog.
Alpha Romeos and MG's became rare on the road, replaced by old guys driving Z3's wearing hats or toupees. Ferraris and Lamborghinis expanded their color to include nuclear pukes. My heart no longer skipped a beat when spotting a Countache. I thought my fascination with impractical automobiles was in the rear view mirror.
The spine injury was like a reset. I reviewed how I spent my resources. Delay gratification wasn’t always the best strategy. I started to question aggregate-based heuristics. I asked the age old question,
“Will I continue to let my life be dominated by default choices, stochastic process, and others’ expectations?”
-“Live in the present.”
_2005—first midlife crisis purchase
I sat in a yellow Lamborghini Gallardo with Greg at a media event. The host wanted $1000/day for the rental. We weren't impressed.
"WTF, the doors don't even go up."
"I know. $1000 is a monthly payment for a Porsche."
We arrived at Porsche Plano 15 minutes later for my annual decision "is Porsche worth the hassle?" I decided this would be the day I signed a short term lease. I hadn't read Dan Ariely and didn't know about priming.
The salesman caught us staring at the centerpiece of the showroom.
"Isn't she beautiful?"
Without waiting for an answer, he led us to the conference room for a 15-minute presentation on the model Paul Walker would die in. To this day I don't know which of us looked like a potential half-mil-car owner, but the presentation didn't help his commission:
1. It reinforced my feelings that carbon was cooler than aluminum. "7-lb door," he said.
2. 911's looked outdated in comparison.
3. It re-anchored me. "$0.5M is enough for 100 really nice bikes." I focused on maintenance and insurance cost.
The 911 lease negotiation broke down quickly. My heart wasn't in it. I went to Richardson Bike Mart and bought the prettiest bike on the floor.
Lucero watched me sucked and despaired. It accompanied me under the spine injury shadow. We went to Ironman and Texas Time Trial. The frameset still stays in my living room 10 years later with new wheels and components.
_2006
I was in the market for a car. I was bitter Nissan Maxima started to break after only 4 years.
"If I can't count on Japanese reliability, I’ll drive a European."
I decided to lease a 530i. I was reading the lease agreement at Classic BMW Richardson. I had the check book out. It took me a while to understand how much $ the dealer made--it was a reasonable cut; I just wished the dealer would own up to its profit. Then I got stuck on the options.
"Is this a typo?"
"No. Bluetooth is $800"
"What else does it have? Is phone included?"
"Just Bluetooth. It's not a package."
The salesman forced a smile and treated me like a moron. He seemed unaccustomed to customers reading legal documents. I recalled Fry's newspaper ad: the Bluetooth hand-free unit was $59.
I walked out.
I identified Acura TSX to have many attributes I thought I wanted. I negotiated over the phone. I chose the color based on price without seeing the car; the salesman was reassuring,
"No sir, it's not a girly color. Are you sure you don’t want to test drive?"
Bluetooth was a standard option and was the first part to fail in 2010.
9 years with TSX convinced me I didn’t need a Camry-size car.
_2008
I had a calling to go to Tibet. I prepared the trip as a tourist but considered staying. I was ready to leave everything behind. I plotted to liquidate other possessions. I couldn't decide which of my friends would get the 65" TV. I was unable to explain this part of my life, but there was no ambiguity what the heart wanted.
The trip never happened. Chinese government closed the boarder after Beijing Olympic riot. The calling never returned.
_2009
New coworker Tim was a car nut who would trade his 1-year-old cars in for the next obsession. He modified cars during the brief ownership. He learned welding to restore old vehicles. He owned 4 motor vehicles concurrently while his wife didn't drive. His 2-car garage was full of tools that 1 car barely fit--often sideways on a rotisserie.
We spent a lot of time talking cars like high school kids. I developed preference for small and light car.
A few cars I wanted were in my price range.
Texas made Ariel Atoms illegal on street.
I found a few Lotus locally but was unable to find a trustworthy mechanic.
[Lotus Exige, time trial bike not included]
\The shopping experience made me appreciate Porsche for its practicality. My annual Porsche decision resumed half-heartedly. I needed to focus on a sport or travel project while the body was able. I made myself a deal: if I didn't buy an impractical car by end of each year, I threw $10k into my toy and travel budget.
_2010 Motorcycle
Bought a Ninja. I wanted a Ninja since 11th grade summer school. The timing felt right.
_2015 Thresholds
Father health was stable after 5 surgeries; he was between chemo therapies. I changed job twice in 2 years. My endurance sport performance decline. This would be the last house with a 3-car garage. The bet on American Airline stock paid off as TSX symptoms crossed a line. Lambos were finally within my means; it didn’t play out like I envisioned decades ago.
I reviewed the purchases that brought me joy: pool cues, coffee, skates, A/V, furniture, shoes, and bicycles. Enjoyments had deadlines. I acquired the vacuum tube amplifier too late. Ditto pool table. I thought of happiness dad missed out.
I was on schedule but didn’t want to become another old fart in BMW Z5.
_picking ride
I decided to replace car in 2015Q1. I had 40+ models on my hit list--Microsoft Excel increased life’s complexity.
I integrated car dealers into my long run routes. The first run was a rainy afternoon barely above freezing. BMW and Audi salespeople didn’t think much of a dripping runner. They smiled, asked rhetoric questions without waiting for an answer. I thought of Gladwell’s book _Blink_. Lexus sales avoided eye contact altogether—I didn’t expect that. It was memorable how happy Lexus customers were--new car purchases came with free lifetime car wash, coffee, and wi-fi. Many parents yelled at their kids in Mandarin and Spanish. It felt a bit like Los Angeles.
I stopped by Porsche dealer on the way home.
I sat in a yellow Cayman on showroom floor. A salesperson came so quickly I thought he would yell at me for touching the leather with wet cloth.
“How are you today?”
“Cold. I’m really here to see S5s.” I pointed to the Audi building and was self-conscious of my wetness.
“Good, would you like to test drive this car?”
“…. What percentage of your non-SUV customers are guys going through midlife crisis?”
“All of them.”
I explained the mid-engine would never work. I needed to carry my bicycle. He took me to look at photos of roof racks. The parts manager took 15 minutes to realize Porsche no longer offered bike rack option 15 months into the model year.
“Would you like a test drive anyway?”
Compared to their Japanese counterparts, I liked BMW’s and Audi’s but was unable to find the actual merchandise I wanted without paying full MSRP. The 4-door 1-Series was unavailable in the US market. There were only 2 S3’s among 3 DFW dealers. All included unwanted options. The idea of paying monthly fees for Audi wireless functions rubbed me the wrong way. None of the German cars came with a holder big enough for my Oakley Half Jacket. I got frustrated after weeks of disappointments. The BMW bicycles in the showroom had the opposite effect of Lexus free coffee—the high-dollar cycles used mid-end Shimano components.
What I really wanted was a small sports car—not a 4-seater that imitated a sports car. I dislike funky interior colors that were likely to become foolish a few years later. Audi walnut and BMW’s light red could look doodoo after Texas ultraviolet.
I abandoned the sports car idea and decided on Lexus’ first compact SUV with the brand’s untested turbo engine and swoosh headlights. I envisioned 2 dogs in the cargo area. I dressed as an Asian engineer this time: cap, sweatshirt, jeans, sneakers, dry, full Taiwanese accent. The salespeople were all over me as I got out of my 9-year-old Acura.
There was a queue to test drive NX’s. It didn’t look as sharp as photos from New York Auto Show.
“But this is the same car.” The salesman assured.
“When do you think I can pay less than MSRP?”
“Maybe October.”
I stumbled upon a 6000-mile 2007 orange Exige at a Jaguar dealer 2 days after the owner traded it in for an F-Type. Despite my already giving upon a 2-seater, my neurons went wild as I flipping through the photos while the salesperson looked for the key. He was informed the Lotus was sold the day prior. I didn’t know which of us was more disappointed. I didn’t expect to want a toy this badly.
Timing was everything. Aunt Sagi decided to sell her 2012 Civic before moving to Taiwan. I bought the most thief-desired model then started shopping for an impractical coupe.
McLaren and Lotus were maintenance disasters waiting to happen. Porsche felt right. 911/Cayman decision was also easy: I valued rear trunk and preferred mid- to rear- engine.
It was “dump 2014 model” season. There were 9 2014 used Caymans within 30 miles, including what I wanted: a white stick with minimal options at a shady used car lot. The price wasn’t great, but < 2% of current Porsche inventory was stick shift, allegedly.
On the way to see the white manual shift, I stopped by Porsche Plano to inquire about pre-purchase inspection. A handsome and desperate salesperson managed to put me in driver’s seat before I reached service department. I test drove a certified pre-own red Cayman at similar price but with more options. He didn’t try to talk me out of white car mindset—he hinted custom build would be the way to go. I didn’t visit the white car; I ran out of time that day. This was mid Q1, traditionally a terrible time for Porsche dealers. I was in no rush.
Variables were manageable by now: colors, transmission, price, options, warranty, service proximity, timing, and engine sizes. Excel simplified life.
“How much do I want parking assist vs. red seatbelts?”
“Do I still hate red?”
“For how many seconds would I use the upper 50 horsepower in next 1000 days?”
A certified pre-owned deal was equivalent to: paying [for bunch options + 1 extra year of warranty + destination] by [letting first owner drive my car for 5000 miles].
I quantify each candidate’s desirability to create a sorted order, acquired a CarMax quote for TSX, liquidated some asset, and headed to Plano Porsche after work before another icy weekend at end of February. I drove the red Cayman home that night.
[3 car garage]
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